Entry Level Heiress

One Very Sexy Man

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This made me laugh so hard. Am I sick?

Just A Spoon Full Of Sugar Gon' Fuck You The Hell Up!

It's supercallifragilisticexpialidocious-hell. When Scary Mary comes to town people freak the hell out. Don't go messin with a bitch with a umbrella that can fly and suck kids out of chimneys.
Along the same lines as the guy who turned The Shining into "Shining"-here's a freaked out version of Mary Fuckin' Poppins.

If you haven't seen "Shining", check it out after the jump. It's quite genius.

Augusten Burroughs Is A Big Ol' Fake

Told Ya!

From Gawker:

Ladies and gentlemen, the Fake Writer Club's latest inductee is Augusten Burroughs--at least according to a reportedly scathing article by Buzz Bissinger in this month's Vanity Fair (on sale next week). Seems that Burroughs got a little creative in Running With Scissors in his descriptions of the family that took him in as a teenager, as Bissinger told the Boston Globe:

"I don't know how [Burroughs] lives with himself," Bissinger told us yesterday. " ' Running With Scissors' contains little strands of fact that were wildly embellished, and if you take those away, you don't have much of a book."

The family is suing Burroughs for defamation. Oprah special inevitably TK.

Rosie O'Donnell To Screw Up The Best Thing On TV

Sometimes it looks like Rosie O'Donnell would rather be eating a pork chop than argue gay marriage with Elizabeth Hasselbeck on The View. So it wouldn't be a surprise that she might be leaving The View after this season. Apparently, she's gotten an offer to star as the female lead in Nip/Tuck next season. The shoot would be for 15 weeks in LA, 3000 miles away from her current home in NYC. So what's the deal?
Ladies and gentleman what's the first rule of negotiations? Stay desired. Rosie must be in negotiations with ABC to stay on longer. She's no fool. If ABC feels they might lose the only reason people watch that show, they'll throw money at her.
Think about it. They haven't even gotten a new fifth co-host. Over the past few months they've gone through every last black pseudo celebrity with a heartbeat and a bit of wit. Rosie's not going anywhere. Mark my words. You heard it here first.

Dear Ketel One Drinker, "I've Got To Pi$$"

From Gawker.com

How To Turn Tricks On The Internet As An Elf

Someone sent me an E-mail stating they'd turn themself into an elf. "Sure, whatever." I was bored. I clicked. I laughed. So should you. Especially, if you're sick of staring into space in front of your computer because there's nothing on TiVo, you've read your online newspaper, and probably spanked a few monkeys. Face it you're bored. So go check out Elf Yourself.
So now you ask, how do I turn tricks as an elf? One word, LittlePeopleMeet.com.

Yeah So I've Been Away? I've Been Busy!

Back from the dead with not much more consistency than an ounce of syrup, it's your favorite ho-bag, Entry Level Heiress. All bets are off. Out go the rules. From now on it's pure debauchery and a hell hole of skanktastic celebs.