Entry Level Heiress

Overheard On Flight Number Kookoo

 

Overheard In NY. Where would I be without you? Maybe a few minutes of laughter less than the man I am today.

Here's an Overheard In NY post about some ghetto-assed flights:

Pilot: In just a few minutes our flight attendants will be starting beverage and snack service, including Coca Cola products and five snack options. Please listen carefully, as FAA regulations strictly prohibit our flight attendants from repeating these options.
--Incoming flight, LaGuardia

Flight attendant on intercom: Well, everybody, sorry for that delay -- the plane was late coming in from California. On the other hand, I have some good news: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance.
--JFK 

Gate attendant: We will be boarding this flight to Atlanta shortly, but this flight is overbooked. At this time, we're asking for two volunteers to... Damn, bitch!
--LaGuardia

Pilot on intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to welcome you aboard and thank you for choosing, uh, JetBlue... This is JetBlue, right?
--JetBlue flight leaving JFK 

Flight attendant: We want to thank you for flying with us today and remind you that there's no one who loves you or your money more than Delta.
--JFK 

Flight attendant on intercom: Please turn off your cell phones, pagers, iPods, laptops... Basically, anything that is bringing you joy right now, just turn it off.
--JFK

Flight attendant on intercom after landing: Well, we're here.
--LaGuardia

via Overheard in New York, Jan 31, 2007

XXX Lycra Shots

At (NSFW) About Lycra, you get tons of laughable pics of men standing at attention, fused into their lycra/spandex shorts. If women have (NSFW) came toes, what do men have?

NSFW Lycra paradise after the jump...

The Barb In All The Right Places

We at EntryLevelHeiress, love you Barb! Thanks for taking Rosie's side. But why is your bathroom so disgustingly decorated? You need Oprah to load you Nate Berkus.

Dear Ketel One Drinker, "I've Got To Pi$$"

From Gawker.com

How To Bitch Like A Pro...

Here's some bitchiness from the South. Taken from David Magazine (it's like HotSpots and HX).

Why are there so many bipolar gay men? Take your meds and stop all the drama!

Ahh the rudeness of gay men. If you decide not to see someone again, at least have the courtesy to say so! Why do you have to disappear without a word?...

Hats are hot on guys, but don't remove it if you're bald.

Don't tell me you're into safe sex, then as soon as we get into bed, you say it's OK without one. If it's not wrapped, it's not entering...

I had sex with my best friend while my boyfriend was passed out drunk. Maybe it's time he lays off the booze and gets out of the bars.

Why is it that after Gay Pride, we take down our rainbow flags? If we're so proud, we ought to leave them up.

PS The man above has nothing to do with this story but, who cares right?

Top 3 Reasons Sloane Tanen Is The Greatest Comic In The World

Sloane Tanen makes these fabulous little art scenes straight out of neurotic NYC. Here's the inspiration for her first scene:

My friend Faye, who is a personal shopper, had told me a story about meeting some elderly southern clients in the lobby of The Beekman Hotel. When she arrived to meet them, she was surprised to find that the client was about 80 years old and her mother was about 98. They could barely walk but there they were, waiting for Faye in the lobby, surrounded by shopping bags and ready to hit Barneys.

More Sloane Tanen prints after the jump...

Don't Feed Your Kids Fast Food...

The number of overweight children in the U.S. is climbing. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the prevalence of overweight among 6- to 11-year-olds has doubled over the past 20 years. Among those 12 to 19, rates have tripled. Today, nearly 19 percent of children 6 to 11 are overweight and more than 15 percent are obese. Among the 12- to 19-year-olds, more than 17 percent are overweight and 15 percent are obese.

Source

Cuddle Contraption and Other Useless Inventions

More after the jump...

Straight Guy + 6 Beers = Sexually Confused Man

A new website documents what happens when you add six beers to two straight buddies:

"What is the difference between a gay and a straight man?" with the answer being, "Six beers." Could it really be true that homosexual and heterosexual males become one after the consumption of only six alcoholic grain beverages? The scientists in our laboratories decided to conduct a controlled experiment and see just how valid this theory was.

The website documents what happens after each beer. To save you the trouble and effort, cuz' I know you're just as lazy as I am, here's the last shot.

NSFW shot after the jump...

George Bush and "MASHED POTATOES!" WOOOOOOOO

Brilliant!