Entry Level Heiress

The Donald vs The O'Donnell: Madonna Defends Her Pal Rosie

This morning on Today, a very tardy Madonna showed up to defend her buddy Rosie O'Donnell.

"People are giving Rosie a hard time. I wish they'd stop, I don't think it's fair..."I don't know exactly the context of what she said," Madonna told Vieira Thursday morning. "I have to hear it from the horse's mouth. She's a standup comic. All standup comics talk about provocative things in their monologues before shows."

Madonna was there to promote her role in the new movie "Arthur and The Invisibles" by Luc Besson ("The Fifth Element"). She lends the voice of the beautiful princess Selenia.

She didn't discuss any other hot-button Madonna topics such as her newly adopted son David Banda. Or Angelina Jolie's reported scathing remarks about her published in People. Miss Jolie has since said her comments were taken out of context and is planning on giving People a swift Mrs. Smith-style kick to the ass.

Madonna was nowhere to be found at her 8:35am scheduled time. Meredith Vieira later told Madonna after she showed up minutes later, "I saw my career flashing before my eyes when they said you weren't here."

To which Madonna bitchtasticly replied, “I’m always seeing my career flash before my eyes." Honey, that's not your career, that's hot flashes!

The NY Times Goes Tabloid, Rosie's Demons Come To Life

The New York Times has gone tabloid by reporting the high school catfight that is network television. In this morning's paper, a reporter interviewed The Donald. He was not shy, thank God, with his words:

"Rosie is a bully. And I learned in high school, when there is a bully, you have to hit that bully between the eyes and high"...
"Barbara is a sad case. This has revealed the real Barbara."

He also decided to call Rosie “not smart,” “crude,” “disgusting,” “a slob” and “an animal.” But we've all heard that before. I don't think anyone believes any of it. Even though it's true she is fat, and if you really want to know what it's like to be around Rosie, read the roman a clef written by her former editor in chief, Sally Koslow at  McCall's magazine which soon became titled "Rosie" then soon was shitcanned. Ms. Koslow's book is entitled, Little Pink Slips. (Due April of '07)

The Barb: 'That Poor Pathetic Man, [Trump] Just Cannot Let Go'

This morning on The View ('told you it was a must see show) Rosie opened up with, "That man just cannot stop! Barbara are you good?" The Barb said she was good.

Then The Barb shocked audiences when she said, "That poor pathetic man. He just cannot let go!"

Then The O'Donnell high fived her co-hosts and moved on. But not before saying. "And his show tanked!"

Which it did, grabbing the lowest ratings of any Apprentice season debut. In my opinon, he turned off the few women watchers after he dissed Rosie for being a fat girl. As it turns out, his show did see an uptick of viewers in the coveted 18-49 demographic (don't you think they should shrink that demo. 49 is a little old. I can't imagine my dad wanting to buy Axe Body Spray. Gross.) That ratings spike was due to his hot heiress daughter Ivanka and his doppleganger son The Donald Part Deux.

Threesome Throwdown-The Donald, The O'Donnell and The Barb

The View is a must see event. If you don't watch it daily, with the help of being self-employed, doing freelance or using a little thing called DVR, you're missing out. Rosie O'Donnell was recently named "Best Hire of 2006" (to the tune of a reported $10m payday, for one year).

As you know there's been a huge blow up between The Donald and The O'Donnell. First he did a stupid thing by saying his Miss USA could keep her crown after she went boozin' and usin' with underage peeps. Then Rosie said he was a nincompoop for acting as the moral compass for the USA when he can't even keep any of his marriages to last or stay out of bankruptcy. Then The Donald called her a fat slob. Then Barbara Walters, got into the mix...

-Sidebar-
Ladies and gentlemen, what's rule number one when you've got a friend with a big mouth? Don't get in the middle of it!

...Back to Barb, she calls The Donald and says...

‘working with her is like living in hell’ and, more pointedly, ‘Donald never get into the mud with pigs’ and, ‘don’t worry, she won’t be here for long.’

Then the press gets wind of this conversation and goes crazy. Rosie hears what The Donald said Barbara said. Oh Lord you won't believe what happened next...

 

Rosie O'Donnell To Screw Up The Best Thing On TV

Sometimes it looks like Rosie O'Donnell would rather be eating a pork chop than argue gay marriage with Elizabeth Hasselbeck on The View. So it wouldn't be a surprise that she might be leaving The View after this season. Apparently, she's gotten an offer to star as the female lead in Nip/Tuck next season. The shoot would be for 15 weeks in LA, 3000 miles away from her current home in NYC. So what's the deal?
Ladies and gentleman what's the first rule of negotiations? Stay desired. Rosie must be in negotiations with ABC to stay on longer. She's no fool. If ABC feels they might lose the only reason people watch that show, they'll throw money at her.
Think about it. They haven't even gotten a new fifth co-host. Over the past few months they've gone through every last black pseudo celebrity with a heartbeat and a bit of wit. Rosie's not going anywhere. Mark my words. You heard it here first.