Entry Level Heiress

Posh Takes Her Candies For A Cooling Off

Victoria Beckham's candies are on view for the whole world to see this Valentine's Day. Check out da ta ta's on a cold winter day in London. Man you could cut glass on those puppies.

Posh Blogs, Liz Hurley Is A Ho Bag

Victoria Beckham is a blogger. She should call it, "Fabulous, Kunty, and Rich-Motha Fucka!" She can honestly do no wrong in my book. I continue to buy anything she puts out. Now, I'm devoted to her blog. An excerpt is below:

Hi Everyone,

It's been a busy few days. I've been house-hunting in L.A. and looking at some schools for the last few days...

We've been lucky enough to be invited to a couple of Golden Globe parties, and met a lot of great people. As for the clothes - wow - there are some gorgeous dresses being worn by Hollywood's finest. I wore a Cavalli a-line shift dress. It had a detailed neckline and little pockets in the most gorgeous plum colour with beautiful shoes covered in shimmering crystals by Le Silla. It was FABULOUS !

...Will keep you posted with more news soon.

Victoria x

It's been reported that Victoria Beckham refuses to wear a pink sari to Elizabeth Hurley's pain-in-the-ass-wedding.

So in the spirit of her new blog, here's what I think her next blog entry will look like...

That bitch face, ho bag Hurley. Couldn't keep her man from having sex with prostitutes workin' it fo spare change. Now she's onto the next gullible billionaire. She wants me to wear a freakin' pink sari?! PINK?! Who does she think I am Paris Kunt-Face Hilton?! Next she'll want us all to tell her how amazing she looks and forget that she's already 2 months pregnant. Shotgun wedding anyone?

Anyway, I'm off to go buy a country. Now that David's getting $150m I think I'm going to buy Malawi. Maybe teach that Madonna bitch who's top dog in Britain.

xoxox
Victoria

Victoria Beckham to Michael Jackson, Beat It!

David and Victoria Beckham were offered Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch. To Michael's disappointment they declined. It isn't because of they'd have to look at Michael's masterbatorium every night, but that it's three hours from David's soccer home base. Their house hunt continues to be a who's who of Hollywood real estate:

The British pop star-turned-socialite was also spotted looking at LIONEL RICHIE's former $15 million (£7.7 million) home in the Hollywood Hills last Sunday (14JAN07) after flying in from Britain to hunt for houses.

 

Female First

The Victoria Beckham Virus Attacks Kelly Clarkson

Full Disclosure: (That's the real journalist's term for, I have to let you know what's REALLY GOING ON) I love Victoria Beckham. So it hurts me to report this next story.

Victoria Beckham is infecting Hollywood. It started with her anorexia back in The Spice Girl days. Supposedly, she was in cahootz with Geri "Ginger Spice" Halliwell's eating disorder.

We all laughed when Victoria got her new 'do which was a major departure from your typical Supercuts special. (Or maybe it's not such a departure at all. I remember getting a haircut that felt like that once...ahhh the pain of adolescence.) No one thought her 'do would influence anyone. Alas, it has. Kelly Clarkson is the first celebrity to be snatched up by the Victoria Viral vehemoth known simply as, The 'Do!

Let's just hope her new clothing line inspired by "Mom Jeans" won't catch on...

Posh's Stupid Hat, David's Stupid Book

Even Victoria "Posh" Beckham has a "What was she thinking?!" day.

David on the other hand was out signing copies of his book Taking It Up Keister Making It Real It's about soccer and is aimed at children. So, no , there won't be any naked pictures of him. So, alas, I will not be buy this piece of crap.

TomKat To Play Posh And Becks In New Movie?

Katie Holmes is rumored to play Victoria "Posh" Beckham in a new biopic of David Beckham's life. Will Tom play David-uber international soccer star? Insiders say no because of "marked physical differences." If the "Posh and Becks Story" is the first movie to come out of Tom Cruise' production company, he's headed for bankruptcy. I'm the first to say they are a genetically blessed couple, but Posh and Becks have less personality than a block of cheese.

 

Victoria Beckham Needs To Fire Her Dermatologist

In other news, Posh is here in NYC probably catching some must see shows for Fashion Week. I'll keep my eyes tuned to Gawker Stalker to see where she's at so I can give her some Retin-A.